Transcript Podcast Episode 7: How to Simplify Christmas
How to Simplify Christmas
Wannabe Minimalist Show Transcript Episode 7
00:00 You're listening to the wannabe minimalist show, episode number seven. On today's show, we're talking about how to take back Christmas and keep your sanity with simplicity.
00:11
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00:15 Welcome to the wannabe minimalist show. I'm your host Deanna Yates, and each week on this podcast we will talk about what it really takes to be a minimalist with a family. I believe minimalism is a mindset for how we see stuff, but more importantly, being mindful of the items we let into our lives, homes and relationships. Let's do this.
00:36 [Music]
00:41 Well, hello there. Welcome back to another episode of the wannabe minimalist show. I'm your host, Deanna Yates from littlegreenbow.com. I'm so excited to discuss today's topic as we are in the midst of the holiday season craziness. This is a highly requested topic by some of you, and I know why some of you told me that you so wished you could take back Christmas and simplify this holiday season, but fear that you'll be seen as a Scrooge screaming out, "Bah humbug". I totally understand. Before we became parents. Simplifying Christmas and getting by without putting up a tree wasn't so hard. I mean we were traveling over the holidays anyway, so we weren't going to be home to enjoy all of those decorations and we had better things to do in our twenties. But, now that we're parents, the mom guilt of giving our daughter an amazing Christmas is growing. I remember the holidays being so magical as a child and so does my husband and we both want her to look back fondly on her childhood holidays too.
01:46 We've avoided most of this over the years because well last year we were traveling and living in Munich, Germany. It was so much easier to get by with less. In fact, we just bought a stubby little tree that my husband carried home three blocks from the grocery store and we made homemade ornaments out of things around the house, like toilet paper rolls, catalogs, paint, glue and glitter. We spent time at the holiday markets soaking up a new culture, enjoying lots of sugary treats, sipping hot gluhwein and really just enjoying our time together. It was really nice and very simple. Now, the years before, when our daughter was four years old and younger, we figured she wouldn't remember much anyway, so we kept things special by visiting both of our families, sometimes in the same week. And yes, they do live half of the country apart. But thankfully, I have yet to make the holidays a huge production in our house, although the pressure is there.
02:40 I have heard some of you talk about handwriting, full-sized Christmas cards, putting up outdoor light displays that rival the Griswolds, creating elaborate advent calendars, making homemade goodies for all of your neighbors, getting everyone dressed up in matching pajamas and more. So that's why I wanted to dedicate today's show to looking at why holidays are so stressful, how we can minimize holiday stress with mindfulness. And I'll finish with eight ways to take back the holidays with simplicity, all without being called a Scrooge. But first, let's take a quick minute to talk about today's sponsor. Today is brought to you by my brand new minimalism starter kit for families. It's a free resource that you can pick up by going to littlegreenbow.com forward slash starter dash kit. You deserve to live the life of your dreams. Your family deserves to get the best version of you on a daily basis.
03:34 You know the one where you enjoy your every days instead of counting down the minutes until bedtime. If you're tired of the chaos, I invite you to join me on this journey to minimalism that actually works for families. No, it's not stark white walls, one plate per person and zero toys. It's a life filled with meaning, simplicity and experiences. And trust me, this side so far feels amazing. So take the first step with this family minimalism starter kit. The starter kit includes four printable quotes, 10 mindset shifts to overcome clutter, our five favorite decluttering methods as a family, cheatsheets for how to get rid of paper clutter and a worksheet for getting to the heart of what a decluttered home would mean for you. So go ahead. I guarantee you'll love life on the other side. And did I mention it's free? What are you waiting for?
04:26 Head on over to littlegreenbow.com/starter-kit for your copy. Again, that's little green bow.com forward slash starter dash kit. Okay. I'll leave a link to this in the show notes as well so it'll be easy for you to pick up a copy. All right, so let's get back to today's topic, which is talking about how to simplify the holidays and minimize your holiday stress while maximizing family fun. Okay. First I want to talk about why the holidays are so stressful in the first place and I have six reasons here.
05:01 The first is that we set high expectations. We set expectations that everything is going to be movie perfect and unfortunately that's just not how life goes. Things come up, life is not scripted and we can't really predict what everyone else is going to do.
05:19 Number two, for why the holidays are so stressful is because we're adding more to our already busy schedules. The afterschool programs don't stop. The activities don't stop. Your children still go to school. You still have all of your normal family obligations. And yet we're trying to add holiday parties and making cookies and decorating our house all into the same short window of time. And so that causes a lot of stress during the year.
05:26 Number three for why the holidays are stressful is the weather. This time of year, the weather is so unpredictable across the country. Now I can't complain, we live in San Diego and the weather here is typically sunny, but over Thanksgiving it rained really hard. We weren't here, we were back in the Midwest, but we definitely had some weather issues. Um, had we had connecting flights in Denver, our flight would have been canceled or delayed and that happens a lot during this time of year. So we really need to plan accordingly. But the weather can really make the holiday stressful. They can also make it beautiful, but when you have to travel, whether it can be a factor, okay.
06:28 Number four for why the holidays are stressful is that we underestimate how long tasks will actually take us. We go out and we go shopping and you know, lines are long and we can't find an item we want for that one special person or we start to make holiday goodies and things just take a little bit longer than than we thought and especially now that we have a child, we tried working on stuff this weekend and we just couldn't get as much done. I remember being able to do so much when I was younger, but now we just have to slow down and go with a little bit slower pace. So we underestimate how long those holiday tasks will take us. We think we'll be able to get a lot more done and then we feel disappointed in ourselves when things don't go according to plan.
07:14 Number five of why holidays are so stressful is that we are under tight budgets. You know, I think I had a stat a couple of weeks ago that the average amount spent per adult for this holiday season is going to be estimated at over $900 that is a lot of money. That means $1,800 between my husband and I in our household. Now, if your family lives far away and you're traveling for the holidays, yes, plane tickets do get expensive and gas is kind of expensive this time of year as well. So dealing with tight budgets definitely make the holidays more stressful.
07:51 And number six for why the holidays are so stressful is that there's lots of people everywhere. Remember how I said things take a little bit longer this time of year traffic is worse. There's people in line everywhere. Everybody's fighting over the same things. Now, online shopping has made this better, but there's still people everywhere. When you want to go to a tree lighting ceremony or go get your pictures taken with Santa, and that makes it really hard because everybody's trying to get their slice of the pie.
So now that we know a few reasons why the holidays are more stressful, let's take a look for how to minimize the holiday stress with mindfulness. So the first is to acknowledge that this time of year is stressful. Instead of trying to avoid it, we need to know that it's perfectly normal to feel stressed and to not get upset with ourselves for feeling that way. We need to admit that the holidays are stressful and by doing so, it really does help relieve that pressure to be perfect.
08:54 you can understand that things are going to go wrong. A lot of things are going to go right and maybe that one batch of cookies won't get made or your tree won't be as perfect as the Martha Stewart magazine, but your child is still going to love it. They're still going to think it's beautiful and they still will be excited about Christmas.
So number two for how to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness is to show yourself compassion. You need to add some additional self care to your routine this time of year. Some ways you can do that that are easy and don't take a lot of time because obviously time is very tight. This time of year one go ahead and sip a cup of hot tea. You know, as you curl up on the couch and you're watching a show before bed, make yourself a nice hot cup of tea.
09:45 I've been doing that lately and it is so relaxing and it's so nice and just puts you in a nice frame of mind on the weekends. Cuddle up on the couch for holiday movies as a family. You know, there's so many good ones. A lot of you watch a wonderful life every year or a Christmas story or there's so many different Christmas movies this time of year and we recently got Disney plus. It's amazing and there's so many Christmas things on there. Uh, there's really no excuse to finding a nice holiday movie curling up on the couch under a blanket and just spending some quality time together. And then before you go into a party, go ahead and take some deep calming breaths or before you go into a shop or before you do something that you know is going to stress you out. Take some calming deep breaths just to get yourself centered. It really helps. All right, something else to show yourself compassion. Give yourself some extra time to complete your tasks so you think something's going to take you an hour, give yourself an hour and a half to get it done. And then that way if something comes up or something's running a little bit longer, you're not constrained by time. And otherwise, if you do finish it within that hour, now you have 30 minutes. You can connect with your child, you can do some coloring and practice and self care. There's lots of things and it'd be really easy to fill that 30 minutes, but it's really hard to get it back if you're already running behind. And then another way you can practice, um, showing yourself some compassion is to remember that this time of year is short and it won't last long. It's only a few weeks. This year was shorter than most because Thanksgiving was so late. And so now not only are we trying to cram all of this stuff into one season, we've got less time this year than before.
11:27 So just remember it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and everything will not always be this busy. So take a deep breath and move forward.
All right. Number three for how to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness is to stop trying to do all the things. Okay. Promise. There are so many holiday traditions that we never started as a family because I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep them up year after year. Things that we don't do elf on the shelf, we don't do outdoor lights. We live in a townhome right now and so I can't really do a big holiday light display anyway, but we'll go look at other lights. Um, you know, we'll do the annual Christmas drive to go look at lights or stroll around the neighborhood. I'm actually really excited to do that with some friends this week.
12:16 But um, you know, we don't do our own lights. We also don't host a big holiday party. I remember as a kid I would go every year to decorate Christmas cookies and it was so much fun and I can definitely see us doing that maybe next year. But we're new this year. Um, and so we don't have a lot of friends and we don't have a lot of people to invite over just yet. And plus we're still kind of getting our bearings with everyone's holiday schedules and things like that. So up until now we've never hosted a big Christmas party. Maybe next year when we'll see. So maybe we're not doing all of the traditions. Maybe we're not doing the elf on the shelf for the outdoor lights are hosting a big party, but we are picking a couple of big impact things that our daughter enjoys. So that's the tree.
13:04 And we spent a day putting the tree up and putting on the lights and decorating it while we listen to holiday music and sip top chocolate. And so that is a really fun tradition we've enjoyed doing, but it's a big impact item and we've let go of a lot of the little things. So one way you can do this is to look back on your childhood and remember the things that made the biggest impact for you and implement those and let go of those little things. We don't have to be perfect. You can also take input from your family and find out, you know, what's the one thing your child likes the best or what something your husband or spouse remembered from doing in their past that they really want to continue with your family. And then the trick is to let go of all those little things that won't make a big impact and won't really add to your holiday this year.
13:54 So number four on how to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness is to be grateful no matter the situation. Try to look on the bright side and see the silver lining. There is always something to be grateful for. Do you have a family that doesn't get along? That can be a tough one, but be thankful that you're all alive and able to gather together. Try to find something about gathering together that you're happy about. Is the food delicious? Do you have a warm, inviting place to be? Um, is there someone in your family that you can connect with? Take a moment and be grateful for the things that are working well and that are worth being thankful for. Or if you're stuck at a bad work party or you have an obligation you didn't want to attend, you know, be appreciative of the people there that you get along with and think of the good thing, things you have in your life because of that group of, or because of the job you have.
14:53 Um, and try to think of at least three things that you are happy about and thankful for. And that really will help turn around these moments where you know, we're not very happy about. So if we're stuck in a situation that we're not happy about, go back and take those deep breaths and think of three things that you can be happy for and grateful for in any moment. I promise there is something, it might be small, but it's something. Okay.
Number five, to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness is to bring a sense of wonder and curiosity with you within this holiday season. So one of the songs from the movie small foot, which we loved and highly recommend if you haven't seen it, I think it came out last year. It's called a wonderful life. And it's by Zendaya. And the course includes lyrics that say cause they life that's full of wonder is a wonderful life.
15:44 And it's so true. You know, being curious really lets you off the hook because you don't have to have it all figured out. You get to look at everything with a sense of wonder and curiosity and think about what it would like to see these things through your eyes as a child and now through the eyes of your child and just look at things with a little bit more magic and mystery and curiosity and less cynicism and less skepticism. And it really does make you a lot happier. And the final point I want to make here for how to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness is to focus on others. So see if there's something that you can do to make the holidays better for someone else. That's really what this season is all about. Anyway. Friends, family, giving and celebrating. So donate money to a local charity or donate your time to a worthy cause.
16:41 See if you can help your neighbor with something or a good friend if they need help. Doing something or think about what would make the holiday actually magical for your child, you know, instead of all of these to do list that we have to do as an adult and all these obligations that we feel are required of us as we get older. You don't ask your child but they want to do. It might be something as simple as sitting together and working on a Christmas craft you've never know. But really once we start focusing on others, it really does start to bring about the spirit of the holiday season and it helps that stress just melt away.
All right, so we've looked at why the holidays are so stressful. There were those six points and I'll repeat them again. That was because our expectations are too high this season because we're adding more to already busy schedules.
17:36 The weather creates a lot of stress this time of year because it's so unpredictable. We stress because we underestimate how long holiday tasks actually take. A lot of us are living with tight budgets, so having to purchase gifts and spend money at the holidays creates automatic stress and that's super easy to understand. And then the last point was that there's lots of people everywhere and we're all trying to do the same thing at the same time in a crowded space so it can be very stressful. And then we talked about how to minimize holiday stress with mindfulness, and I'll repeat those real quick. There were six tips here as well. And one was to acknowledge that this time of year is already stressful too. We need to show ourselves compassion and that's through practicing self care, giving ourselves extra time to complete these tasks and remembering that this time of year is short and won't last too long.
18:32 Three, we need to try to stop doing all the things. Give up those traditions that really don't add anything to your particular family. Don't worry about what works for other people, worry about what works for you, for us to be grateful, no matter the situation, there's always something to be grateful for. So take a deep breath and search for those three things that you are thankful for in any situation that you're feeling a little grouchy about. Number five is bring a sense of wonder and curiosity with you to the Soliday season. And number six is to focus on others. All right, so I want to finish today with talking about eight ways to take back this holiday season with simplicity and maximize your family fun. So the first this goes with that, whether with holiday travels and all of that that ties in and can be really stressful is to go ahead and pack light. 19:26 Now this is probably not a tip that you're going to see on every list out there for how to make the holidays less stressful. But really I have found when we pack light, it makes everything easier first, it's so much easier to pick out your clothes when you're actually at your destination too. It makes it easier to put everything in with you, makes it easier to get to the airport in the car, makes it easier to maneuver around the airport once you're there. And the real trick here is that it makes it easier if you have weather issues. Now if you need to change your flights or your travel plans, your stuff is with you. If you are on a flight and you're booked and you've already checked your bag and it gets canceled or delayed and they try to put you on another flight, dealing with your baggage is very, very stressful.
20:12 So do yourself a favor, pack light and make it easy for yourself if you're having to travel this holiday season number two on ways we can make the holidays less stressful and maximize our family fun is to play some festive and soothing holiday tunes. Now I'll list a few of my favorite Spotify play lists in the show notes, but really just by putting on some holiday music, it's usually upbeat. It has a great message, it puts you in a great frame of mind and sometimes we forget to play music around our home. And just this time of year, it's so nice to put that on in the background lights and candles put the tree on. Um, and it's just, it really does make it so much fun. And our daughter loves it. We dance around in the living room and sing Rudolph the red nose reindeer and all sorts of fun things.
20:56 So that's tip number two and it works great for us. Tip number three to make the holidays less stressful and maximize your family fun is to suggest a gift exchange instead of getting gifts for all of your family members. Have you ever done one of those white elephant gift exchanges? Maybe at an office or with a group of friends or something? They are really fun. It's one of those ways where you can minimize having to buy new things and you can find a fun gift around your home, out of things you already own or something he can be really valuable to you or it can be really funny and you know, watching people open the gifts and it just gives you a lot more sense of community when you're doing an activity like this versus everybody opening their gifts, especially if you all open your gifts at the same time.
21:43 And that really can just be underwhelming. Where if you take the moment and have a gift exchange or a white elephant gift exchange, there's a little bit more meaning behind it, a little bit more connection, and I think a lot more enjoyment. Number four, for minimizing your holiday stress and maximizing your family fun is to cut back on shopping as much as possible. Now, this may take some planning, but if you try to organize all of your shopping lists before you head out and you can do all of your shopping in one outing, it's so much better. Or if you can buy it all online, that makes it easier. But also just cutting back on what you are actually giving the physical gifts. So if you need some ideas for clutter-free Christmas gifts, check out episode number five and that is all about this kind of stuff where you can give a gift that doesn't add clutter to people's lives and usually that means less shopping for you as well.
22:35 So it's an added bonus that there's really no physical items to some of these things. And then do your best to resist black Friday and cyber Monday. Now I know this post this year is a little too late for this, but next year hopefully people are finding this, um, as a new podcast to themselves. And so they will see this before black Friday and cyber Monday. But really those holidays are built to get us into the shopping frenzy and make us have to have something because it's such a great deal even if it's not something we actually need in our homes or in our lives. And so if you can just avoid that really, I think you'll save money and you'll save yourself some headaches in the long run, which is really more important than money. Okay, so that was number four. Number five on how to minimize holiday stress and maximize family.
23:27 Five is a little counterintuitive, but it's to dwindle down on your decor. Our home right now has a Christmas tree and our daughter has asked to get some pointsettia plants and so we'll do that. But really it's just thinking about how to focus on the high impact pieces like your tree, like simple outdoor lights if you can hang them and then things that you can make together. It's not about having every room in your home look like a Martha Stewart catalog. I'm sorry I'm really getting on Martha Stewart today, but you really can do a lot with a little Christmas tree, takes up a lot of room. It's a high impact item. It's got lots of fun little trinkets to look at with your ornaments and the lights are beautiful. So focus on those high impact items. Get rid of a lot of that. Um, you know, decor that needs to go all of your home and focus on a few key items that are put in high traffic places so that you really can enjoy your Christmas decor and your holiday decor, um, as you're living in your home, but you don't need it to be everywhere a little bit does really go a long way.
24:36 Okay. Number six, to minimize your holiday stress and maximize your family. Fun. This one also is a little counterintuitive, but it is to eat well as the adults. You make the decisions in your homes, and I know our kids are bombarded with candy and sugar and candy canes and cookies and treats and everything from every direction. And I'm not saying take all that stuff away. You can still enjoy your holiday favorites, but just in moderation. In addition to the cookies and the cakes and candies and breads of the season, you don't make sure to keep eating the healthier things too and make sure your kids are still eating those healthier things. So like your mom said, eat your veggies. It will keep your energy up and the cold's at Bay and this time of year, those winter colds, Oh their rear and their ugly head.
25:19 So make sure that you are keeping up with your vitamins and getting your nutrition. Number seven for how to minimize holiday stress and maximize family fun is to let yourself enjoy the holidays. The holidays were magical when we were children and we need to let ourselves feel that magic as adults too. And I promise that this will make the holidays better for your kids. They just want you to be involved and to enjoy it too. And so if we're stressing in the corner and you know we're grumpy poses, they're going to be grumpy too. And so we really need to just take a minute, take a breath, go back to those deep breaths we talked about earlier and let yourself be a kid and let yourself let loose and have fun and dance and sing and jump around and run around and really get into with your kids.
26:10 If you can go play in the snow, play in the snow, make a snowman. Enjoy these times with your kids while they're young and they still want to play with you. All right. And number eight, which is really the most important of the day, for ways to minimize your holiday stress and maximize your family fun, is to stop shooting on yourself. Now, the holidays come with all sorts of expectations, responsibilities, and engagements. And we don't need to make it harder on ourselves by thinking, you know, we should do this and we should do that. Honestly, we are only human and that means we're imperfect. No matter what the movies tell you or the expectations they set for you. So some examples of this are, you know, we should all get along at the holidays or the table should be decorated with all the glitz and glory and we should be using this special China and we should have special Christmas plates and everyone should come home for the holidays and we all should have fun and we all should have a lot of presence under the Christmas tree.
27:12 Did you hear how many shows I mentioned? You have to stop shitting on yourself. Make sure that you are taking a break looking back and thinking about what you want the holidays really to mean for you and your family. And it'll help you let go of all of these. Should we tell ourselves in our heads, because this should makes you feel like you are not measuring up to your ideal of what Christmas should be to you. So all right, those are the top eight for ways to make holidays less stressful. Let's look at them real quick. How to minimize the holiday stress and maximize family fun one pack light to play some festive holiday tunes. Three suggest to gift exchange for your family or friends for cut back on shopping as much as possible. Five dwindle down on your decor and only keep those high impact items.
28:06 Six, eat well and make sure you're eating your vegetables. Number seven, let yourself enjoy the holidays and play with your kids. And eight, stop shitting on yourself. Alright, so that's a look at how we can take back Christmas and keep our sanity with simplicity this holiday season. I hope you liked it. If you did, please go ahead and subscribe. I can't wait to get to know you a little bit better. I also have that awesome freebie that I just put out there and that was today's show sponsor and that is the minimalism starter kit for families and you can pick that up on my website - littlegreenbow.com/starter-dash kit. All right, go out and enjoy the holidays. Have a wonderful Christmas season and we'll see you back here next week. Take care.
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28:57 So this episode might be over, but we don't have to say goodbye just yet. Head over to my website at littlegreenbow.com for tons of great resources, freebies, courses, and a link to join my free one of the minimalist group on Facebook. Let's tackle this thing together, and if you love this episode, it would be really helpful if you left a rating and a review so more families can find the show to your awesome. Thanks and see you next week.